Chapter 16: "Altar"

The day crept on. Karina let Cherry roll at an easy trot, but took her time on the forest pass, letting her walk on the damp dirt. Her mind wandered to Theodore often and before she knew it she was taking the drive to her home in the woods.

She untacked Cherry and turned her out in the field. She would be back in a couple of hours to feed and turn her back in. Karina hauled her bags over her shoulder and headed into the house.

She opened the front door to find the house empty. She sighed in relief. The longer she could put off talking to her mother, the happier she could be. She showered and dressed in clean clothes, then emptied her bags. A few herbs and other items hadn’t sold at the last town and she knew she needed to return them. She’d been putting it off the last couple return trips, in hopes she would find a buyer, but it had been long enough. She scooped up the bag of merchandise with a sighed.

After leaving out the back door, she found herself standing in the backyard facing the potion shed. At least that was what her mother called it. The name didn’t really do it justice. Before her stood a shed covered in moss but it backed up to a cave or maybe it was a cavern. She wasn’t sure. From the outside, it looked unassuming but from the inside… Well... She took a deep breath and pushed open the door.

The shed part acted as an entryway, but it opened up into a cave filled with potions, cauldrons, and shelves of ingredients. Karina shelved the extra ingredients in their labeled spots.

“Karina,” Mother’s voice echoed from deeper in. It wasn’t a question, but instead a command.

“Coming,” Karina shouted. She quickly but neatly finished and then walked carefully passed five bubbling cauldrons. The cave opened up into a large cavern. Carved symbols reflected in the candlelight. They had been etched into the rock wall with deep slash marks and highlighted in white. The floor was polished to a reflective black surface. Large and confusing lines of red crisscrossed its surface. Hundreds of candles lit the cavern and Karina always wondered why Mother took the time to light them every day. It would have been very easy to have Father wire light in here for her.

Mother stood at the altar. Red dripped from her fingers. Bits of some small furry animal lay in pieces across the stone altar. Karina grimaced but kept her face still. If she showed to be squeamish at all, her mother would include her in the ritual.

Mother’s eyes looked down at her. “Bring me St. John’s wort.”

Karina nodded and spun on her heel. She returned quickly without running.

“Place it on the altar,” Mother ordered.

Karina didn’t hesitate. She set the herb down on the altar. Balls of energy flickered from them sending blue droplets in a shower of sparks.

Karina went to withdraw her hand but Mother wound her wiry blood covered fingers around hers. The sticky blood coated her hands as Mother pressed Karina’s small hands down, crushing the St. John’s wort against the surface of the altar.

“RA-Te-No-Ren-HA,” Mother chanted. Her eyes blazed purple. Her gravelly voice repeated the chant. “RA-Te-No-Ren-HA.”

Heat emanated from the stone altar in waves. Karina knew better than to struggle, but the heat was getting so intense. She fought tears in her eyes as the small yellow flowers burned beneath her palms.

“RA-Te-No-Ren-HA!”

Blue droplets of energy crawled from the flower up Karina’s arm. She tried not to squirm but failed. Her mother’s eyes blazed at her, one look of warning in them.

“RA-Te-No-Ren-HA!” Mother growled.

The blue droplets burrowed beneath Karina’s skin. Karina screeched. Mother released her hand and Karina stumbled backward, landing on her butt. She caught her breath as Mother stood at the altar, eyes lifted to the sky. A small shaft of light filtered in at an angle as the sun set, highlighting Mother in a yellow glow.

“Roe-Toe, Toe-Toe. Elock No-Ta-Roc-Nah.”

Heat emanated from the altar again. This time Mother glowed and pulsed with yellow and blue light. The St. John’s wort disintegrated into dust while the blood covering hand disappeared into the cracks of her leather-like skin.

The heat and light died away. Mother slumped forward on the altar. Karina stood on shaky knees.

“Mother?” She whispered. She reached out towards her. The blood smeared handprint laced her own arm as she stretched forward. Her hand lightly touched her Mother’s shoulder. Immediately heat threaded up her arm. The blood seeped into her own skin. Her heart raced as a spider web of tightness engulfed every limb. Her breath came in short gasps and her knees buckled. She stumbled back, trying to gain her balance as she fought against the grip on her. Her knees finally gave way, spilling her on the floor. She grabbed at her chest as she fought for sweet air. The last thing she saw as darkness blurred her vision was the floor coming up to hit her in the side of the head. Even the pain of it didn’t register.

The darkness opened up. Karina stood in the middle of the empty space. “Hello?” Her voice echoed but at the same time pounded through her head. She clamped her hands to her ears but it didn’t help. She closed her eyes as she fought against the vibrating sounds and outside her head.

“Open your eyes,” a voice said.

Karina obeyed. Before her stood her, well a copy of her anyway. She reached out toward her reflection. The soft cheek felt real enough.

“Are you me?” Karina asked.

Her reflection smiled. “You are me, well one of me. I am the Master Self.” She had the same tone and inflections she recognized in her own voice. “But why are you here?”

“I…” Karina looked around as if the answer was written on a wall somewhere. I don’t know. Mother was doing a ritual with St. John’s wort and I touched her. I thought she was dead.”

The Master self smiled slyly. “No, you hoped.”

Karina dropped her eyes.

“It is our fate to have bad Mothers.” The Master Self reached out and lifted Karina’s chin. “It is okay to hate Mother.”

“Is it our fate?” Karina asked. “To hate Mother?”

The Master Self looked thoughtful. “Not all of me hates Mother, but those few shadows of me have turned dark. So maybe it is not our fate to hate Mother, but we are better off doing so, at least at this moment.”

The Master Self lifted her hand from Karina’s chin and pulled back a strand of brown hair, tucking it neatly behind her ear as if it were as easy as her own.

“What do you mean, at this moment? Is Mother evil? Should I stop her?”

“It is not for me to decide your path. Your path is my path and you must use what you have learned in your shadow to complete your path.”

“Then why am I here? How did I get here? Is Mother speaking with her Master Self? Have others come before me?” Karina couldn’t stop the torrent of questions.

The Master Self pressed her fingers to Karina’s lips. “These are all very good questions you need to answer for us. Now you must go. You know far more than the other shadows. I shouldn’t influence your choices more than I already have.”

“Wait, you haven’t ans—,”

The Master Self snapped her fingers and vanished.

The darkness surrounded Karina and she felt like she’d been dropped. Her stomach fluttered as she flailed. She could visualize her body in her mind. She reached for it and felt her spirit slam back into her body.

Her body woke with a start. She choked on the air. Her lungs burned as she gulped in breaths, clutching at her throat. After several minutes, her body calmed. Her hands shook but she felt mostly in one piece. She sat back on her heels. Mother still lay slumped over the altar. Karina stuck a tentative hand out to touch her again but thought better of it. She looked around the large cavern, assessing the small shafts where daylight should be seen, instead only a few stars peeked through.

Karina shot to her feet. She cast one look back at her Mother’s slumped form and darted out of there.

When she reached the outside, night was in full swing. Cherry nickered at her from the barn. One of her siblings must have done it. How long had she been out?

Karina pushed open the back door to the house and found leftovers on the stove. She poked her head into the living room and then went to the hall and pressed her ear to her parents’ bedroom door. Her father’s loud snores penetrated the door. Karina frowned. She had been gone for four hours. Had she been dead?

Karina stretched her neck and arms. She did feel rather stiff and a headache was welling where her head hit the floor. She shook her head. Maybe it was all just a dream. She dished up some of the leftovers and ate them cold. Her mind replayed the encounter over and over again. She felt so unnerved.

She cleaned her dish and prepared for bed. She tried her best to push the whole encounter from her mind. She lay in her bed and pulled the covers tight to her chin. Her mind wouldn’t calm. She closed her eyes and it reminded her of the darkness. The feeling of falling haunted her and her eyes snapped open again. She tossed and turned as she tried to will herself to sleep.

Her mind kept playing the scene over and over. She squeezed her eyes shut and a gripped her blankets tightly. She would sleep. She would not ask more questions. Finally, restless sleep took her.

Copyright 2019 Ava Altair

#freefiction