Chapter 18: "Get Out"

Karina woke with a start. Did she just see what she thought she saw? Was that Theodore? Was she saying goodbye to Theodore and kissing him? No, it wasn’t her exactly, or really him. Not exactly. It was people named Kari and Theo. Her but not her. A piece of her. No, that wasn’t right either. It was a piece of the Master Self. A shadow, well, another shadow other than her.

Questions ran through her mind in another torrent. No, it was just a dream. But… She brushed her fingers against her lips. But she couldn’t still feel his kiss, his soft tongue on hers. Her heart beat quick. She wondered briefly if Theodore’s kiss would feel the same. Her face heated. How could she be thinking of this?

She shot a look over at Lucia. Her bed was empty. Karina put her hands on her hot face to cool it, then pushed aside the covers and got ready for the day.

When Karina entered the kitchen, the five faces of her family turned her direction from the kitchen table.

“It’s about time you joined us,” Lucia said in a snide tone.

Karina looked to Mother. She would usually comment at this point but remained silent instead. Her face was more haggard than usual with deep bags under her eyes. Her sclera was bloodshot with deep red veins.

Karina took a seat and flipped two small hot cakes off the plate. They were cold but she ate them quickly with no dressings. Father read his newspaper while Edwin kicked her under the table. She turned her knees away from him without a word and downed a glass of milk.

“I’m going to feed,” Karina said when she put the glass down.

“Where were you last night, young lady?” Her father asked as she rose from the table.

Karina’s eyes darted to Mother, who didn’t look up from her plate. “I was with Mother in the potion shed.”

Father’s brow deepened. He cast a sideways glance at his wife, then dismissed Karina with a nod.

Karina didn’t wait for the fallout. She would do anything to get out of that tense atmosphere. She took her time feeding the animals and milking the cow. She was just on her way in when Mother met her on the front porch. Karina slowed to a crawl and halted in front of her.

“Did you… See anything last night?” Mother asked. Her voice was deeper and drier than usual.

Karina remembered the rules of the shed. She was not to comment or repeat what went on. The words of the Master Self also echoed within her. She was allowed to hate her, which meant not trusting her.

“No. I brought you the herb, then you passed out. I waited awhile then you woke and told me to leave.” Karina held her face solid as she lied.

Mother searched her face. “Good. I have another errand for you. It will take you two weeks. Even if you are done sooner, don’t come back early.”

Karina nodded solemnly.

“You’ll be taking both horses.”

Karina turned to leave. Mother’s bony finger blocked her path. “Two weeks.”

Karina nodded. “Yes, Mother.”

She ducked inside and dropped the milk pail off in the kitchen before going to her room. She found maps, buyers, and a list of ingredients laid out on her bed. She packed for the trip, then slipped out to the potion shed and loaded the ingredients in several bags. She heaved the bags over her shoulder and headed to the barn.

“Karina.”

She stopped dead in her tracks. “Yes, Father?”

“What happened last night, with your mother?”

“Nothing,” she said quickly.

“Ever the little liar,” he whispered dangerously.

Karina bit her cheek. “Mother fell asleep making potions, that’s all. I was out late and she finally let me go.”

Father stuck his hands in his pockets and assessed her. “And where are you going?”

“Mother had told me to go on a delivery run.”

“How long this time? Weren’t you just gone for two days?”

Karina felt uneasy. “I don’t know how long this one will take. It’s a lot of places.”

Father nodded. “It had better bring a lot of coin.”

Karina nodded. “Yes, Father. I will do my best.”

Father reached out an arm and wrapped it around her shoulder. She stepped into it half-heartedly and hugged him with a free arm. The hug was awkward, loose, and uncomfortable. Neither of her parents had ever been huggable.

“Be safe. No matter what your mother has tasked you with, use your head.” He tapped her with a finger on the forehead.

“Yes, Father,” she said as she pulled away.

He disappeared into the house and Karina organized her tack in the barn. She pulled foodstuffs from the storage cellar and avoided the kitchen completely.

She tacked Cherry and made her wait on cross ties while she caught and saddled the other horse, a flea-bitten grey gelding by the name of Zag. He was a fun ride but tended to spook at the silliest things. She hoped Cherry would keep him in line. She packed her bags and loaded up Zag. Her personal items were tied onto Cherry then she mounted her ponied Zag.

Her father waved to her as she started down the drive. She waved back, but a sinking feeling nagged at her gut. She took one last look at him over her shoulder. His green eyes sparkled in the sunlight. The hard lines of his mouth creased with worry.

Deep down in her soul she got a hunch she was marching off to some death sentence. She pushed the thought from her mind. That was completely absurd. Mother would never waste so many herbs if she was sending her off to her death.

Copyright 2019 Ava Altair

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